Cedric Godfry: Collected Writings 1917-1917
A partial collection of the diaries of Cedric Godfry. Known for his exclusive use of the ‘limerick’, Godfry is widely considered one of the worst poets of WW1.
September 27th 1917
‘There was once a Lieutenant from Devon
Who is now sadly in heaven
He got trench foot,
His toe went caput
Lucky he started with eleven then!’
(Haha! What a twist!)
October 3rd 1917
‘There was once a man from Calcutta
Who didn’t know what was the matter
But he got sent to war
Died alone and all sore
Brains spilled on the floor in a splatter!’
(Brilliant!)
October 4th 1917
‘I’m getting really superb at these,
Being a war poet is a breeze!
I’ll recite them at tea,
The others will agree
And I’ll be made to do a reprise!’
(Woo Hoo!)
October 6th 1917
‘Others don’t like my poems, apparently.
They said they thought it was a parody.
“They appeal to no-one
Read some Wilfred Ow-un.” (sic)
Well their opinions will date terribly.’
‘My latest ditty will teach ‘em.
This time they will stop to listen.
It’s so funny and smart,
It’s high performance art
That will stop the captains’ giggling.’
October 7th 1917
‘They did whatever was asked
For them we fly flags half mast
They were given a gun
But got shot in the bum
And never heard “Peace at last!”’
(Funny and meaningful!)
October 8th 1917
‘I’ve gone to a meeting with HR.
And been told to stop sharing my bars.
“My poems are offensive”
“My rhymes are “abrasive”.
And they’re incredibly bad for morale
And that I must stop immediately.’
……….
October 10th 1917
‘The General stopped by between fighting,
To tell me I’d been spotted writing.
He wouldn’t say who snitched
So I called him a bitch
Now I’m on my very “Last warning”’
October 15th 1917
‘Can I please be real for a second?
I’ve got an opinion I reckon
It’s a bit controversial,
It’s not very commercial
You can keep a secret? Just checkin’!’
……..
‘Wilfred Owen is such a hack.
His poems are properly whack.
They don’t even rhyme,
Or adhere to time,
And it’s not just that that they lack.’
‘But I don’t get why everyone likes him
It’s all just minds and bodies explodin’
“Hey, we’re all really sad”
I get the war is bad
But come on Wilfred mate - throw a joke in!’
‘Percy says I should write like Owen
Because he’s apparently “all knowing”
I think he’s a prick
I’m not sorry about it
How many critics has he been blowing?’
October 16th 1917
……..
“‘We’re trying to help” they promised,
Maybe they’re right to be honest.
I should read his stuff,
Even if it's rough,
Find out which poet is hottest.’
October 20th 1917
‘I might have been approaching this wrong,
I’ve thrown myself into him headlong
His words are so soulful,
It makes mine look woeful ,
How have I been this wrong all along?’
October 21st 1917
‘What he gets right is authenticity,
That really hammers home the imagery,
Every line written with care,
It hits and feels like you’re there
One’s emotions laid bare exquisitely.’
October 23rd 1917
‘It’s honestly hard not to despair
I know it’s bad - I shouldn’t compare
It’s the first thief of joy
But since I was a boy
I’ve been wrong. Mine weren’t worthy to share.’
October 25th 1917
‘This is probably why I’m single
Women I meet think that I’m simple
Like the girl from ol’ China
I rhymed with vagina
No wonder letters from home dwindled.’
October 26th 1917
‘I should be cast out and disgraced
For my rhymes of questionable taste.
I’ve been a total moron
All this time I have bored on,
My whole life has been a complete waste.’
October 28th 1917
………………..
(This page is just a mixture of inksplots and tears - Ed.)
November 1st 1917
‘All I can do is try and get better.
Try and improve letter by letter.
I can learn from the best
Work harder than the rest
I can at least be a go-getter.’
November 2nd 1917
‘The lesson I think I have learnt,
The payoffs in mine were unearned.
Nothing real there to grasp
People should read and gasp
No wonder it was widely spurned.’
‘I need to be honest and real,
Make the reader recoil and feel.
Perhaps more visceral,
Maybe less literal
Something that will finally appeal.’
November 3rd 1917
(Here goes!)
‘It really is scary in the trenches,
All of the death and terrible stenches
I want to go home
I feel all alone
Oh wait! That smell is mostly the Frenchies!’
…..
‘Hmm not sure I’ve quite nailed it there
Certainly not good enough to share
The French don’t even smell
We all do here - it’s hell
Even for a cheap joke that’s unfair’
‘Not everything should be pleasant to read,
To create great art your mind has to bleed.
Even if that will mean,
Your conclusion’s not clean.
Because what we want is not what we need.’
November 4th 1917
‘I should try and move beyond limericks
They’re really childish and people hate it.
But to a certain extent,
It’s my artistic intent
And that rules all. The form? Just accept it’
‘But I can’t write anything else
Something different gives me stress
I think I can manage
Curtail the damage
Be true to me. Do my best.’
5th November 1917
‘I don’t know when this will be over,
I’m pining for the cliffs of Dover.
I don’t really know why,
We’ve been sent here to die,
The end doesn’t feel any closer.’
6th November 1917
‘Much worse than your boots being sodden.
All the food you eat being rotten.
Pain way more existential,
Than physical or mental,
The conviction that your life will be forgotten.’
‘There’s a saying that writing’s immortal
That will stay long after you’re nonverbal
But that’s true of some
For a rule of thumb
You need to have been in the top decile.’
‘But what about those of us who aren’t?
Talent doesn’t fall out of our arse.
Do we deserve to be lost?
On death, our work to be tossed,
“It’s not for them, it’s for me” we chant.’
‘We go over the top tomorrow,
Given scant instructions and ammo.
We’re on the attack,
I hope we come back.
Tomorrow (and) tomorrow (and) tomorrow.’
7th November 1917
‘I’ve been hit. My mind is shaken.
Blood and my body is aching.
Been shot in the heart,
But all that apart
It’s all quite a lot to take in.’
‘I never want these to be too heavy,
But I don’t want to die, I’m not ready.
But way worse than fear,
All alone down here,
Is knowing there’ll be no ceremony.’
‘If I was to have one last epiphany,
A coda for an unfinished symphony.
It doesn’t matter what
Straw you drew from life’s lot,
Being the best you can is true dignity.’
Born in 1891 and killed in the winter of 1917, Godfrey was little known until recently. His manuscripts, dated until his death at the Battle of Passchendaele, were recovered on the battlefield by his friend Percy Halberton, and released posthumously by his family to little interest. However, he has had a resurgence in his popularity in recent years. Gaining notoriety for his one-way rivalry with fellow WW1 poet Wilfred Owen, but also plaudits for his honest account of life in the trenches and for being the only soldier known to have written about his own death in real time. A recent public campaign led to his work being published for the first time and ‘War Poet’ being added to his grave’s inscription outside Ypres.
Thank You/Updates/A Special Appeal to the People of Leicester
Thanks for reading. I know there’s been a bit of a delay between this and the last edition of this newsletter. This is for various reasons!
Main reason is that I’ve spent most of the last couple of months writing a story that totally knocked the weekly element out of whack. It took absolutely ages — the idea was actually supposed to be part of Series One but I couldn’t think of an ending for ages and, in the end, it’s the longest by far of all of these. So apologies for the delay. The good news is that I don’t think many people noticed and I have a week off from work this week so hopefully I can polish up that and the other story for this series and get them ready for the next couple of weeks. I might blow up the schedule slightly and release this one now (Monday afternoon). As ever, I really appreciate you reading these and thank you in advance for telling people about it, either in real life or on social media. It really helps!
The other reason there’s been a delay is that I’ve been running around doing a lot of stand-up. I’m working towards my debut hour at the Fringe this year which I’m very excited about but, with all creative projects, that annoyingly means more admin than I’d like. More updates to come on this (hopefully) but after hitting a couple of walls it’s looking like a DIY fringe for the K-man. There’s ways and means of ‘doing’ Edinburgh and most likely scenario now is me #keepingitreal in a free venue with none of the big glitzy production companies, agents and venues that others will be enjoying. This is frustrating, but not unexpected, I don’t have an online presence (not wholly but mainly because of my day job) or any industry foothold* so I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to take a ‘risk’. I’m relishing, or attempting to relish, the challenge of doing it independently and I have a lot of previews in the diary which I’ve put below to help me to do that. There will be more hopefully - but these are the ones that are confirmed! If you’re the sort of person who can offer me more I’d love to hear from you.
Previews (as of Feb 2024)Bristol - 14th Feb 2024
Leicester - 24th Feb 2024
London - 2nd March 2024
Swindon - 6th March 2024
Bristol - 5th April 2024
Lancaster - 27th April 2024
Reading - 18th May 2024
Cambridge - 26th May 2024
Hastings - 13th June 2024
Falmouth - 6th July 2024
Norwich - 9th July 2024
Plymouth - 17th July 2024
Newquay - 18th July 2024
Bodmin - 19th July 2024
Tiverton - 20th July 2024
Bristol - 21st July 2024
One I’d particularly like to draw your attention to is Leicester on the 24th February. I, due to a mixture of poor admin skills (and more industry shenanigans) didn’t originally secure a venue but thanks to the absolute hero that is John Morris at Late Stage Comedy I’ve been been given a last minute prime slot at 7.30 on the final Saturday at the East Street Lanes. If you know ANYONE in Leicester please throw them in my direction!
I’m also in Bristol on Wednesday eve at former haunt Oppo. I’m looking forward to it and the thrill of being asked to come and headline such a legendary gig overshadows the irony to be back, on Valentines Day, at the gig I ran with my ex — doing a show (partially) about the breakdown I had when she broke up with me. If you are in town come along! It’s much more fun than I’ve just made it sound and probably the best option for any single #lads (of any gender) that eve.
Other thing that’s taken up time is my book - which I have an update on! I have had it back from the editor and, despite his notes making me a bit teary and upset, are excellent and I’m working on applying those. Most likely this will be a post-fringe release.
That’s about it for now. Sorry if any of it has felt slightly negative or, more likely, makes me look shit. But just trying to be honest, especially when other social media can be so fake.** Thanks for all your support!
* I was told about a big agent recently, when looking at a long list of 2024 debut shows, picking my name out and asking who I was because it was the only name he didn’t know.
** Cold take alert!