Kitson's Email #25

Hard to know where to start with this one

You may not have noticed, but I haven’t actually actually sent a newsletter since October¹. There’s so many reasons for this – but in danger of sounding like a cliche-

things HAVE been crazy lately².

More importantly though, I wanted this newsletter to contain the next short story in Series 3 but, I’m not joking, writing it has taken me nearly two and a half years. That, combined with how the story that kicked off Series 3 back in October, took me about eleven months meant a severely truncated, delayed and sporadic Series 3³ for which I’m sorry.

You might wonder why I am putting such enormous amounts of time into a newsletter I give away for free. To be honest, often me too. But it’s all been worth it - because I thrilled to announce that my first book is released next week.

It’s called “embarrassment (and my usual excuses)” and it’s a 232-page illustrated collection of (funny) short stories. I’ve spent most of 2026 so far rewriting and/or editing all the stories so they’re as good as they possibly can be. I’m phenomenally proud of it and would love it to be read by as many people as possible. If you’ve enjoyed anything I’ve done over the last few years (in which case, hard to fathom how or why you’re subscribed to this) – you’ll definitely like it.

It will be on general release on July 22nd - but to get it before then YOU CAN PRE-ORDER A COPY HERE. It’s cheaper this way (£10 + P&P) than the RRP - plus I’ll sign it/inscribe it with whatever you like. To definitely get it before release day you’ll have to order in before Thursday - so why not do it right now? It’ll take a few clicks and even if you don’t want it I think it’ll make a great present for someone. If I were you, I’d buy like five and have them in storage for those times when you need a thoughtful-seeming present for someone last minute.

Or to put it another way, if you all buy one now, I won’t have to mention it again. So why not nip that in the bud, save us all a lot of time and hassle and just buy a copy?

(Kindle readers can preorder here)

---

Again, there’s a lot that’s happened since October. I put my 2024 and 2025 Edinburgh Fringe shows out on Youtube, for instance. I am also doing the Fringe this summer. Thanks to those of you I have seen at work-in-progress shows this year so far. Again, it’s been a long road but I genuinely think that this show is going to be my best yet (my Mum said it was - but I’m not sure whether that’s because I mention her a lot). Show is at 8.45pm - I’m back in the yurt again and tickets are available here.

If you’re not going to Edinburgh I have some previews remaining in the following places that I would LOVE you to be at.

17th July - London - Camden Comedy Club
19th July - Northampton - Comedy Crate Comedy Festival
25th July - Hungerford (West Berks Comedy Festival)
2nd August - Bath - Jesters
3rd August - London - Camden Fringe

Please forgive me such a plug-y email but I didn’t want to dilute the message of this too much (“buy my book” - in case you missed it).

---

My plan is to start doing something a bit more regular with this newsletter. Few hundred words if funny non-fiction/opinion - like a weekly column you used to read in the paper. That sort of thing. Arguably, what substack is designed for, basically. We’ll see. But first I gotta do the fringe and sell a book (buy my book) and all the other stuff. More to come.

---

Anyway here’s that story that took me two and a half years⁴. I have decided for the first time to put it behind a paywall. Hopefully you can understand that. You don’t need to sign up for subscription btw - sorry to bring it up again but you can buy my book.

AK

P.S Have I mentioned my book?

---

Burning Down the House

Godzilla yawned, stretched, and accidentally rolled over the swings.

Shit.